Are We a Good Fit?

Here are some snapshots of who and what I treat

Infertility

For many of us, motherhood was something we dreamed about since we were little girls. We spent years trying not to get pregnant, never thinking that achieving a pregnancy (or maintaining a pregnancy) would be so difficult. Hearing your doctor say “This is your diagnosis” feels like a relief after having no answers for so many years; until you learn that you may never get pregnant the “natural” way like your friends did.

Infertility may be the first crisis you have ever faced. It can take a toll on the best of marriages and relationships, destroy your self-confidence and make you question your faith. Infertility can leave you feeling depressed, hopeless and angry, which then makes you feel guilty, worthless and isolated too. Sound familiar? I can help.

I am committed to helping individuals and couples achieve your dreams of growing their family. I know what PCOS, Blastocysts and PGT-A are. People often call me because their longstanding therapist doesn’t understand infertility, or they have never met with a therapist before but know they’re a shell of who they used to be because infertility stripped them of identity, confidence and hope. You don’t need a generalist therapist. You need me.

Some of the most common issues I address with women who are trying to get pregnant are:

Struggling to find joy when you are ridden with hopelessness and despair
Withdrawing from family functions or GNOs because you can’t tolerate being around pregnant women or getting bombared with "We can't wait to be grandparents! You'd better hurry up!"
Criticism over wanting to be a single mom by choice
Managing life during fertility treatment - especially missing work or needing childcare for constant monitoring
Feeling completely disconnected from your partner - timed intercourse is awful
Coping with failed transfers, POF, and maxed out insurance benefits

Complicated Pregnancy

Sometimes women suspect that something is "wrong" with their pregnancy. You may have suddenly lost your pregnancy symptoms or become severely ill with Hyperemesis, which didn't happen with former pregnancies. Unfortunately, women and couples are often blindsided with a diagnosis they did not expect.

Hearing that something might be wrong with your placenta, or even worse, with your baby, leads every parent feeling shocked, then panicked. Having a complicated pregnancy

thrusts you into a world of uncertainty. I can help you sort through your thoughts and feelings in order to make quick decisions. You may need antenatal surgery, get a PICC line, or terminate your pregnancy for medical reasons. If you have a history of losses, your anxiety, depression and fears are compounded. I don't want you to feel isolated.

Some of the most common issues I address with women who have a complicated pregnancy:

Determining next steps - getting further fetal testing, a second opinion or an emergency consultation
Assist you in logistical planning such as going on bedrest, taking medical leave, and lining up childcare
Processing feelings including worry, disappointment, and losing control
Creating a support system to link you into resources such as other parents of a child with Trisomy, Moms of Multiples and coping with bedrest when you have toddlers at home

Loss

I never intended to become a grief counselor, but my own personal journey led me to a sad reality: no one wanted to talk about baby loss, not even counselors. Looking back, pregnancy loss was a taboo subject. And 20 years ago, if your baby was born still, there were medical providers that thought it was best for you to not see your baby, which now we know is actually best for closure later on. I lost Stryker Baby A as I was ending my first trimester, and my loss changed everything about my own narrative.

Here is what I have learned both personally and professionally. Losing your baby will likely be the most horrific, devastating thing that has ever happened to you. I am grateful that several local doctors handwrite my name on scrap paper and give it to newly bereaved parents whose call typically comes in the day after the bereaved parents are discharged from the hospital. In the first few days, everyone calls to say how sorry they were and you lovingly receive 6 lasagnas that you feel too sick to eat. You cry every minute, and every single thing you see is a trigger, which often makes you vomit because you feel so sick with grief.

When you call me, I'll tell you that you will never, ever be the same person as you were before your loss, but that my goal is to help you redefine yourself, help you balance grief and joy, and teach you how to simultaneously honor your baby, while also learn to live again. We will talk about really hard things: your delivery, the days after you came home, and I will help you determine who is helping, what is helping you, and then limit those people or behaviors that make you feel worse. No two journeys are the same when it comes to loss.

I will help you learn how to respond when people say things like:

"At least you have (child #1)"
"At least you can have more children"
God needed your baby more than you did"

And when well meaning people do things like:

Put away all of your washed baby clothes without asking what you would like to do with them
Pretend that your pregnancy or baby never existed

There is no "at least" when your baby dies.

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Some of the most common issues I address with women who have had a pregnancy loss:

Silently mourning because no one knew you were pregnant yet
Feeling stupid for having announced your early pregnancy on social media, and having to share your loss publicly
Blaming yourself - feeling like your body is broken & that you are a failure
Distressful, intrusive thoughts about the gruesomeness of miscarrying at home
Worrying that this pregnancy was your “miracle,” and that you will never get pregnant again
Guilt and shame after terminating a pregnancy for medical reasons (TFMR)

Some of the most common issues I address with women who have experienced a stillbirth or infant Loss:

Worry that you can’t put one foot in front of the other, let alone talk with people
Feeling like you are living a nightmare or having an out of body experience
Symptoms of PTSD - especially if you had a traumatic birth
Intense feelings of rage, disbelief, sorrow, alternating with emptiness and numbness - sometimes in the same hour
Questioning how you will ever enter the nursery again, return to work, pack up baby gifts to return or encounter the lovely lady at the deli who will ask when you will be bringing your baby shopping with you.