Are you curious about how I got here?

When I first struggled to get pregnant, there were no therapists in the entire state of DE who understood the complexities of infertility. I was a therapist, and I had all of the tools. I was emotionally healthy and in a supportive, loving marriage. But I was drowning in despair, and desperate to be able to talk with someone who understood why I needed hCG, or how to alleviate the pain of Progesterone shots. So I decided that I would become that person for other women, and I became the first infertility counselor in Delaware, paving the way for newer providers simply because we quickly learned that every single woman who experienced infertility was drowning too. Together, we became part of the silent sisterhood of infertility.

What I had not anticipated was struggling to get pregnant again. I knew that I was supposed to have “Conquered My Fertility,” but apparently my body didn’t get the message. We had the recipe for success now, and it was less than a year until I was pregnant again. From the minute I tested positive, I could envision my children close in age, playing together in the sandbox. I was looking at adorable baby clothes, and considering baby names. When my 8 week ultrasound didn’t look quite right, I shrugged it off. I felt pregnant, and assumed we’d be fine. Fast forward four more weeks, and the heartbeat was gone. I wasn’t just sad. I was gutted.

Everyone around me happily announced their second pregnancies, and with each announcement, I cried longer and harder in private. We had worked so darn hard to get to this pregnancy, and I felt robbed. It was cruel. When you’re a fertility patient and you spend months (years!!!) trying to get to your miraculous pregnancy, having a loss takes you lower than you ever thought possible.

I also found that my fertility patients were calling me for help again too. This time, they too, were struggling with an added layer of loss - pregnancy loss. As my former patients returned to me, word got out that I understood loss. The more couples I saw, the greater my knowledge base grew. If I had not treated someone with Triploidy, I asked my doctor friends for in-depth explanations. I took courses on Genetics, learned about nuchal translucency scans, attended the best medical conferences, and soon 50% of my practice was women and couples who had lost their babies. I was determined to learn how to help women and couples figure out their next steps, whether that was to choose adoption, to use a surrogate, to terminate a much-wanted pregnancy, or how to tell young children that their baby sister has died.

The Delaware Counseling Center isn't just my practice. It is my identity. I hope that you will see, feel and learn that too.

Curious about who I am outside of work?

"As a therapist specializing in infertility, Nikki is a true asset to the field of reproductive mental healthcare. I have referred patients to her for over 15 years with full confidence knowing they will receive exceptional care grounded in compassion and best practices."

Dr. Adrienne Neithardt, MD

Reproductive Endocrinologist

Delaware Institute of Reproductive Medicine

Outside of counseling, I have a very full life. My husband and I love visiting new places, and sitting on our deck, especially on crisp, cool mornings, drinking strong coffee. I also live in a loud, chaotic multigenerational household. You will meet my parents, husband and adult children at events like the TEARS Walk and the beautiful Wave of Light candlelight vigil sponsored by Julia's Light.

COVID was a difficult time for me. I was gravely ill, and I ended up homebound for a long time. I developed a new normal, and found joy in new ways like birding & flower arranging. As I got healthier, I began offering telehealth. While I miss so much about being in an office, I learned that my personality still comes through on camera.

I grew up in Southern NJ, and I am a loyal Eagles fan. I love decorating my house, and dream of being a designer on HGTV. In another life, I was a realtor. I love studying floor plans, and when I need self-care, I scour the housing inventories for random cities on the East coast. I am not a huge fan of TV, but I loved Breaking Bad, Lost and Dead to Me. I love peonies, creating gluten free dishes, Homegoods and puppies.

You won't be just a "fertility patient" or a "loss mom" if you decide to work with me. There are so many parts of me that I will bring into our session, especially my passion and my potty mouth. Just as I hope you will learn all of the parts of me, I see all of my clients holistically too. That means I will want to know the other parts of your life (like your hobbies/interests/family structure/culture) in order to help me find healthy ways of coping with the difficult circumstances that you called me about. I draw from a strengths perspective and see life from different views including a feminist perspective and through a trauma lens. I believe that my job is to help you learn how to live again; teaching you new coping skills, processing your feelings in an honest, private manner, and creating new techniques to help with your immediate concerns, and to determine your future goals too.